Confuse

I am always confuse about what to do now and next...
why can't it be easy for me,
to understand what to do now and later...
why do i need to care about my ego in front of my love,
when i can actually tell her how i feel straight,
instead of arguing and lead to quarrel,
giving a chance to destroy the relation.
why cant i just give in like how she give in to me,
instead of understand her very well,
i need to rely on the internet(blog),
to know how she feel.

Going oversea to work,
is actually a torture to her,
going off for 14 days,
no one there to comfort her,talk to her,hug her to sleep.
yet, she is so understanding to me,
helping me to pack my stuff ,remind me what have i miss out.
with no words of complaining.
Get my laptop making her travel to and fro,
from west to south, south to west then west to east again.
my heart feel so sore when i know of that ...
i really hate myself, why can't i dote her as much she dote me,
again, no compliant from her....

Going out,
i am always the one who can't make up my mind,
at the end she will always be the one to plan,
other then when we are not together,
i can plan and make her so wonderful like a princess,
what had happen to me.

i should not make her suffer anymore,
she must be a most xin fu Woman on earth
and not the most SAD woman on earth,
how i want her to be my wife,
but, i dont have and $$ to...
i cant give her security already,
i should give her more care and concern...
haiz, i am confuse,
but for sure ,
i know I REALLY LOVE HER....alot
i mean really alot.....


I am VERRRRRRY POOORRRRRRR....

can that person please do something please...
They are trying very hard to earn money already.
you are old enough to support yourself,
dont aim too high when u cant even go half the way,

I need money to pay for internet, televison and telephone
i need money to pay my own handphone bill
i need money for my bike road tax, insurance and inspection,
but i only have 1,100 only,
after deducting i only have less then 100 dollar left.
please do something please,
i want o save up i want to.,.....
please help and not make a burden ....
i am begging you...